I decided to start timing them to see. I still had doubts because I already had a couple of days where I thought things were going to happen and nothing persisted.
The surges (contractions) were still happening after a couple of hours. But they were so sporadic! Sometimes 6 minutes apart, sometimes 10. My water had broken early on with Roxy so I wasn't sure what to expect if it didn't.
Even so, I started getting ready just in case. Cameron decided to work from home that day too. We had a leisurely morning making breakfast and cleaning the house. I colored with Roxy and took my 40 week bump picture. All while breathing deep, relaxing through the surges, and listening to calming music. I called my dad to give them a heads up. "I think it's happening..." I told him. I still wasn't a hundred percent certain!
We called Lisa who was staying at Marli's and we figured we might as well go to the hospital. That way I would know for certain and could really get in the zone. By that point I had been having surges for about 5 hours, though they were still pretty inconsistent. So Lisa drove over to be with Roxy while she napped.
|A few with my girl while I was zenning out. I had prayed that I would be able to have some time with Roxy before leaving to the hospital and that I'd get to say goodbye. I'm so glad it worked out! She is my baby forever. :')|
I continued listening to music on the ride there and I remember rubbing my belly and putting my full focus on the little baby inside. I remember thinking, okay little one, I'm going to do my best to make this as smooth as possible for you!
Just before we went into the hospital, Cameron gave me a blessing. The plan was to have another unmedicated hypnobirth, like Roxy's, and the words in the blessing brought me such great comfort about it! I felt calm and prepared. I knew I could count on my Heavenly Father to help me with whatever happened that day and that my sweet angel would make it to me safely.
When we got up to labor and delivery, they checked me and I was at a six. Cam and I looked at each other in shock. What?! I wasn't even sure I was in labor, how could I be at a six already?! The nurse checking us in said that it was pretty good I was still smiling at that point. She said we'd probably go fast so we called Lisa, Marli, and our birth videographer to meet us at the hospital. Lisa took Roxy over to my aunt Shirley's for the rest of the day.
When we got set up in our room I got in bed and Cameron put my peaceful music on speaker. I listened for a while and did deep breathing. Then I felt like getting up on the labor ball. I just continued to breathe through each surge--up and deep. I rested my head on the side of the bed and Cameron held my hand. Seriously, he is the BEST partner ever. He walked me through each one and whispered in my ear. He told me I could do it and reminded me to relax. He also got some essential oils to massage my back while I was laboring on the ball. By this point everyone (except my mom and Gram who were driving from New Mexico) had shown up.
After they monitored Mila's heartbeat for a bit while I was on the ball (they have to do it every 30 minutes if you don't want to be hooked up to the monitors), I felt like walking the hallways. While I was walking, I started feeling pretty crazy. I kept telling Cameron to help me relax. And whenever I'd go through a surge I put my arms around his neck and breathed deep. He just continued telling me encouraging words and I could tell how much it helped. My shoulders relaxed and I let my body take the lead. I was able to breathe even deeper and longer. Looking back, I really think I was already going through transition at this point.
I continued hearing my positive affirmations in my mind. Each surge brings my baby closer to me. I work with my body. My mind is relaxed. My body is relaxed. I breathe correctly and eliminate tension. One step closer. One step closer. Listening to them every single day really paid off and really helped me through this time of transition!
As we were walking around I wanted Cameron to tell our nurse to start filling up the tub. My mind just kept going nuts and I really needed to get in the tub and shut everything out so I could keep calm. When we got back to the room the tub was full. It felt so good the instant I got in and turned on the jets! Cam also started diffusing some calming oils in the bathroom. We brought my music in as well. It was exactly what I needed.
After what seemed like a super short time the nurse had me get out again to check the baby's heart. I sat on the labor ball again while she did this.
After we checked Mila, the nurse asked if I wanted to check my cervix. I was hesitant because I didn't want to be discouraged, but curiosity got the best of me and felt relaxed enough to handle it. She checked me and I was at an eight. I felt fine about that and was ready to get back in the tub. I figured, I might be at this a couple more hours. I can do this!
Cam helped me back in the tub. After a couple of surges I felt like sitting up in the tub so I could feel the jets directly on my back. Right as I sat up I felt another surge and I felt my body trying to push. I knew that feeling! I immediately looked at Cam and told him I felt like pushing. He asked if I wanted to get out I said yes!! He helped me stand up and dry off and right then I put my arms around his neck and just let my body go limp. It was pushing alright! I needed to get in a good position ASAP!
We walked out of the bathroom and Cam told the nurse that I felt like I needed to push. She looked at me and said, "Oh are you feeling some pressure?" I'm sure she was doubtful because she had just barely checked me and I was at an eight. I said yes and she said she could check me again. I felt another one coming so I asked if we could wait until the next one. It felt so good to put my arms around Cam and just let my body hang limp and do it. He could tell that I was pushing and kept saying, "just relax, relax. She's almost here." All I could think in my head was, I need the bed lowered so I can breathe this baby out right now!
I finally got in the bed and after the nurse checked she said something like, "you have a little bit of cervix left, but your water bag is in the way. We can get that popped for you and you'll be delivered."
What the? It's like she wasn't speaking English. So am I at a 10 now? Can I push now? Can I get the bed lowered now, please?! The other ladies in the room could all see the confusion on my face and they said she was just asking if I wanted my water broken so that it'd be easier for me to push. Finally I realized I had made to a 10 and I got so excited!
I wanted my birth to take it's natural course, so I was hesitant to have my water broken for me. I don't remember what I said, but I think I must of agreed to it since she was almost there and it didn't sound very invasive. Didn't matter anyway. The nurse never got the chance to get the hooky thing for it...
I then asked for what felt like the hundredth time (I think I just kept thinking it) if the bed could be adjusted in a sitting position. I hoped to have a birth bar too. This is the position I was in with Roxy and I wanted to do it again this time.
But the nurse was entering stuff into the computer so we tried putting it in a chair position ourselves. I scooted forward and attempted to sit on the edge of it. It still wasn't lowered all the way down, so I just kind of leaned back awkwardly. Suddenly I felt a pop and a gush of fluid ran out! There was a pause and then the nurse said, "that was your water breaking" and she started to leave the room to call my doctor.
I sat up in the bed and then could feel another huge gush of fluid run out onto the bed and floor. just then I felt something between my legs. I think I said, "I feel something.."Lisa responded and said that it was just my water bag. That didn't feel like a water bag. Marli later said I had a puzzled look on my face as I reached down and felt a little head with hair! Just as I did this Cameron lifted up my gown and said, "that's the head!" And Lisa said, "Oh she's out!" And it was not like she was crowning. Her ENTIRE head was born up to her neck! I asked Cam after how it looked and he said it just looked like a little floating head!
A flood of nurses came running in. I felt like a million different directions were being shouted at me, but they wanted me to be flat on my back with my knees up to my head. Exactly what I didn't want to do! But in the moment I knew she was practically out so I didn't fight it. One nurse kept telling me to push. That was basically impossible at that moment, so I just let everything relax and a few seconds later they were pulling her out. They immediately laid her on my chest and she was just curled up. I felt a rush of adrenaline hit me and reached for her and pulled her close and I think I said, "Oh my little Mila!" She felt so teeny and warm! She looked up at me and didn't scream at all. I think they tried to get her to cry and she made a cute little tiny squeal! We were all crying! I was shaking uncontrollably!
Right as they laid her on me my doctor sprinted in and we met eyes. I said, "You almost made it!" He let out a huge sigh and said "yeah I think I need to work on my sprints!" I think he was really disappointed he was not alerted sooner, but I'm glad he was there to make sure the rest of the delivery went okay.
After her cord was done pulsing and my doctor helped get the rest of the nutrients to her from it, Cam got to cut the cord. There was a lot going on at this point--people cleaning up, nurses entering information and asking for the time because no one got it, etc. We were all just mesmerized by this little girl and her black hair!
They put her inside my gown so she could be skin to skin for a while--my favorite part--and after a bit took her out again to weigh and measure her. She weighed 8 lbs 1 oz and was 19" long! Born at 4:53 PM (debatably).
I was still shaking uncontrollably so Marli helped get a blanket on me. I couldn't believe what had just happened and how fast everything went! I was still in shock and on such a high! I was so so happy she was here safe and sound! There are just no words to describe the feeling and really the entire experience of bringing a person into the world. The whole nine months included. I am so blessed and humbled and grateful to have been able to have this spiritual and powerful experience!
After things settled a bit, we were told there were no restrictions on children being there, so Lisa and Marli went to go pick up Roxy. I was so excited to see her meet her new baby sister!
While we waited for Roxy, I spent more time skin to skin with Mila (seriously, the best!) and she nursed for the first time. I love that they let you spend so much time in the delivery room now and hold off on newborn procedures.
Lisa called us when they arrived with Roxy, and Cameron went out to get her so we could get her arrival on video. When she entered the room, I immediately got teary eyed. She smiled when she saw me and pointed at Mila. Daddy brought her over to us. She immediately loved on her and gave her sweet kisses. She giggled when she sneezed. My heart was so full! It's so true when they say the love in your heart just grows. How did I get so lucky to be the mother of these two perfect girls?
|First moments as a family of four!|
|Loving on sister.|
I'm also so glad we decided to go with a videographer, and I'm excited to share more on that later and see the different perspectives of this special day!
And we are just beyond thrilled to have Mila safely here with us and we thank all who have prayed and sent well wishes and gifts. We truly are blessed and feel so loved. It has been a time of adjustment for all of us, but we can't imagine life without our perfect little Mila Rose. Now on to new adventures as a family of four!