March 2, 2017
BEING IN LOVE WITH THE PRESENT
It seems like the end of pregnancy can make one a bit crazy...
I'm not going to lie. I feel fine. I feel good for the most part. But also kinda like I'm on a spinning roller coaster of emotions!
But one thing I've observed for certain during this time is that my craziness really has a lot to do with control.
I absolutely cannot control when my baby is going to be born (well, unless I decided to induce and stuff--you know what I mean!).
For the most part, I can't do anything about it and yes, if it were up to me she would have been born two weeks ago.
But remembering back when Roxy was overdue, there were some really sacred and cherished moments those last few days before she came.
And that has really hit me lately. This is a time that I'm about to bring another human into the world. A time when a person is going to breathe life for the first time--just fresh from heaven.
And even more incredible? I get to be her mother.
I think that is OVER THE TOP amazing! Feeling humbled and grateful just can't be enough!
The other morning I woke up very early and felt like I should read my scriptures. I opened to 2 Nephi 22:2 and read, "Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and not be afraid; for the Lord Jehovah is my strength and my song; he also has become my salvation."
I have read this verse over and over since then.
It was perfect for my situation right now. Heavenly Father is constantly putting me in positions that allow me to give up that control and rely fully on Him. Rely on His timing. His absolutely perfect timing!
My sweet, tiny, perfect baby girl is going to be born at the right time. And it's up to me to let go and trust that.
Until then? I'm loving the moment. Soaking in the present and taking one minute at a time.
I do this by stepping back and taking in a special appreciation of my surroundings.
Roxy's genuine smile.
My sweet husband doing something goofy (as always) and making me laugh.
Looking around our home just before turning off the lights before bed and feeling love and gratitude for the special place it has become for us--my little family.
I love what's happening in my life right now. Especially before this big change is about to happen.
I know there are beautiful things ahead for us and I am excited for them. But I don't want to miss out on right now. There is too much good to be had in these last treasured moments to feel frustrated or disappointed.
I hope I can make the most of today. And tomorrow. And every day after!