April 17, 2015

FIRST TIME MOM

She's just over a month old and I can't believe it. I just can't!

Right now she is sleeping about 2 1/2 to 3 hours at a time at night with one longer stretch that's about 4-5 hours long. Some nights she sleeps better than others, but we think she's doing well. She was pretty good about going right back to sleep after feedings, but now needs a little coaxing. Cameron has been really helpful about this and just has the magic touch with her. And she LOVES being sung to sleep. I sing to her lots during the day as well. It seems to chill her out.

We've also started doing some tummy time. She's... tolerating it okay. But she's got a pretty strong neck and was holding her head up before we even brought her home from the hospital.

And the best thing ever? She's been treating us with little smiles this week! And no not the gassy, milk drunk ones! The real ones where she's looking right at us and cooing and trying real hard to form her little lips into a grin. My heart just explodes every time.

And of course we had to do the side by side comparisons of our baby pictures. We all know she is a mini Cam, but at different angles you can see she kinda has my nose and eye shape. Just a little mix of the two of us!

Oh have I mentioned anything about the hair yet? We still can't believe how light it is! Everyone thought she'd come out with really dark hair like mine. But I think it's just beautiful. And it's really long in the back! And obviously a little thinner up front. ;) 

Experiencing momhood for the very first time is such an interesting undertaking. You're so happy, scared, and exhausted all at once. It's been quite the out of body experience--at least for me. I've become a number of things that I sort of expected, but maybe not to this degree. I'm now the world's biggest germaphobe and worry wart--just to point out a couple. 

I mean, I didn't know that I could physically see germs until I had a baby. 

The other day we took her out for the first time together. We went to Costco. I thought I could handle it. I figured, oh she'll be in her car seat. We'll have the canopy over her to protect her from all the hideous diseases and pestilences of the earth. 

I was wrong. So so wrong. 

Everything was going beautifully until we got to check out and she woke up. She practically slapped the pacifier out of my hand when I tried to soothe the screams. So I took her out and everything started spinning. It was like I became hyper-aware of all the people around us.. Breathing. Coughing. I'm pretty sure the guy to our left sneezed in slow motion.

I had a similar experience when we first brought her home and I found one of Leia's dog hairs on her lip. I think that time I blacked out for a split second. 

Stressing about germs goes along with being a worry wart. I am a true worrier at heart, so you can imagine how much this has intensified. From what I know, all moms worry about their kids. Forever. But I often find myself in sort of a panic. I worry she's not eating enough. I worry she's eating too much. I worry she's too cold. I worry she's too hot. I worry she'll choke in her sleep. Or suffocate. Or scratch her eyes out. Basically everything is a threat to my baby. Even my own, Germ-X smothered hands. My latest and greatest worry is that she'll be behind because I'm not reading the encyclopedia to her every day or exposing her to Mozart. 

Oh. I know. I'm completely ridiculous and there's just no way to protect her from everything. She's got to build up immunities sometime and all I can do is hope that my best is good enough. And hey, I'm learning. All part of being a new mom I suppose! 

Though I've been winding through a roller coaster of emotions, one thing is for certain: this little face has my whole heart! And you know what? Underneath all my psychotic episodes is pure enjoyment. I really am enjoying her and savoring every precious moment.

I'm the luckiest and probably tell her every other second that mommy loves her!
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3 comments:

  1. Omg the Costco bit made me snort.
    I love that last pic of her -- so very curious...

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  2. I love this. Sneezing in slow motion! Yes! You're hilarious.

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  3. I love this. Sneezing in slow motion! Yes! You're hilarious.

    ReplyDelete

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