October 15, 2014

PREGNANCY AND INFANT LOSS REMEMBRANCE

So this is one of those long awaited posts I've been meaning to write. I think I sat down to get started on it after our fourth loss, but as time went by it became harder to write. (Unfortunately, I have lots of those drafts just sitting around.) Anyway, I figured it would be a good time to start on it again since today happens to be Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.

First of all, everything is still going well with baby girl right now, so no confusion. She is doing so amazing (19 1/2 weeks along today!) and we could not be more grateful for that. We just love and cherish her so much already, and I believe that love has only become more tender through the trials we endured to get her to this point.

As I mentioned, today is a special day. It's a day we remember those babies gone much too soon. We honored our own this evening by lighting a candle.

Though time was short, I'm grateful that they were a part of me and that I was a part of them. They have changed me for the better and I am thankful for their brief and profound impact on my life.

As October 15th approached, I tried to look back and remember all of the positives and special moments I had with each of my babies...

Finding out I was pregnant for the first time. Oh was it a surprise! I loved that time. I had no expectations. No fears--except about parenting of course. Just excitement. And pure joy. Yes, lots and lots of joy.

Seeing our second's heartbeat on the ultrasound. So sweet and tiny.

Feeling so spiritually near our fourth baby just moments before I miscarried them.

Seeing another positive test and holding on to the hope--over the fear--that they would be the one I would get to physically hold here on earth.

And so much more.

I think I sat down before to write this post primarily for those who are also dealing with this. I've blogged about how opening up has helped me realize how many women are truly affected by miscarriage and how much devastation it can cause families. Not only did it awaken my very naive eyes about pregnancy loss (and how common it is), but it also made me much more aware of the various and delicate situations of others trying to have kids as well.

Many couples suffer miscarriages, still birth, infant loss, infertility, etc. No matter the situation, it's incredibly painful for these moms and dads--especially when the presence of a child wanted so badly is not there.

Cam sent me this article... oh boy, I can't remember when. It's been forever! But I thought it was a very good read. Most of it fit my thoughts perfectly. So if you know someone who has suffered a miscarriage, this lady offers some good advice on how to help them. Her main points are:


  • Respect others privacy
  • Don't minimize the loss
  • Recognize that both parents experience loss
  • Ask how you can help
  • Support in simple ways 
  • Follow the Savior's example

So today as we remember our sweet angels, let's also be sensitive that there are many around us (that we may not even know of) who are struggling in silence. 

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